For now, let me at least post this shenanigan:

I don’t generally believe in circles of Hell for all the minor sins and annoyances to be found out there. To be honest, I’m not even sure about half the circles Dante created (or, for that matter, the rungs of Purgatory or some of the planets in his Heaven), but that’s honestly okay because Dante wrote his Divine Comedy more as a satire than as a direct theological treatise. So I guess I’m safe in that regard.

I do, however, occasionally dream of a realm of poetic justice, in which some of these minor infractions are punished for the span of a nightmare or so. A place where the inventors and perpetrators of Lolspeak are forced to do linguistic studies on their Frankenstein creation*, where the people who ask English majors if they’re planning to be a teacher wind up fielding their own obnoxious career questions, where postmodern authors have to spend a few hours listening to regular readers complaining about their books.

All of this is a roundabout way for me to say that somewhere in this little land of poetic justice, there is a special place for the people who ride my bumper with their high-beam headlights on when I’m already flirting with the wrong side of the speed limit. And it is full of Klieg lights.

* Just try setting out a full conjugation for the verb can has some time.

So here’s the idea: the Charity of the Month. Every month, I’ll find a charity with some sort of online presence and write up a little summary of what they do. If you think it’s a good cause, try sending a little money their way. It doesn’t have to be anything huge—even a small donation helps push these organizations toward their goal.

Since this post is showing up on Memorial Day for the American readers, the first charity on the list is the United Service Organizations. The USO provides a variety of services to boost the morale of current and former members of the Armed Forces and their families. This includes entertaining the troops at various military bases (even those on active duty), sending care packages, or running programs like Operation Enduring Care to help wounded soldiers better adjust to their circumstances.

I’m not going to make any comments about specific wars, or war in general*, but I think the USO does a good thing for the men and women in uniform. If you want to support their mission, visit their How to Help page for more information.

* I’d appreciate it if everyone could please stay civil in the comments section, too.

This is probably just coincidence, I’m sure. But if I run into a webcomic called Simon Finds a Girlfriend and Several Million Dollars Tax-Free, I think I just might review it. You never know.